The Cumulus numbers are out and Cumulus is the best performing, best run, best futuristic radio company that barely makes money.
Bla-bla-bla!
Their revenue figures were posted yesterday and revenues barely grew by 2% compared to the third quarter of last year.
He can’t blame Rush Limbaugh anymore, because he re-signed him for his talk stations.
Of course, CEO Lew Dickey is blaming the lack of political ad money this year but the third quarter last year was before the big political money was spent. And the comps were awful last year.
But who is looking, right? And he knows it.
No matter – I get it, the poor SOB can’t get up and say “We are failing” so he sells the one thing investors want to hear – that Cumulus is amping up its sales efforts.
It’s the third time he’s used that tactic.
Fool me three times and shame on who?
Never mind that they’ve been firing people all week at their San Francisco cluster – work with me here.
Firing is not hiring.
So Dickey tells the financial lapdogs – formerly known as analysts ten years ago – that he, Lewis Dickey, Jr is going to order the hiring of 50 more salespeople.
Whoopee!
That’s like a pimple on his ass – 50 people.
Or a better way to put it – that’s one-half a salesperson per Cumulus market assuming you are falling for this stunt again.
Boy, are we the idiots for believing this crap.
But wait, there’s more.
It’s working already.
One of the better radio trades went for the bait with this headline just hours later: “Cumulus staffing up sales department”. No questions asked, no previous promises reported – just blue skies.
Dickey is channeling his inner Bob Pittman as he shovels bullshit to cover his tracks and it’s working except, it really isn’t.
Lew has a plan that he could never reveal even to a group of analyst lapdogs or there would be a run on Depends.
Here’s the real scary shit:
- Fact: As of 2:45 pm PDT, Cumulus has exactly 111 radio sales jobs posted on their company website (not counting Modern Luxury). There are also a handful of sales manager jobs posted as well. That’s 111 jobs no doubt posted for EEOC purposes that have been sitting there with no action at the time, Lew shocks the world with the 50 people he claims he will be hiring.
